I remember a time when a refrigerator was an appliance that preserved food, kept drinks cold and made ice. That was so last decade! Today, the humble fridge can avert absolute disaster, save a teenager from god knows what, save the career of a mega star and prevent tens of thousands of teenagers from going apoplectic. Wow, fridges have come a long way.
This headline news grabbing story began when Dorothy, a 15 year old genius from Kentucky, who operates an Ariana Grande fan page, ( an American singer, songwriter and actress ) was taking a few seconds out from her incessant twitter feed and watching YouTube to cook some rice. We all know how these things go, one earth shattering tweet after another totally engrossed and distracted Dorothy and before she realized she had a stove fire on her hands.
Dorothy’s mother who is obviously totally unreasonable and doesn’t understand how critical it is for teenagers to be on social media 24 hours a day solving the problems of the planet, decided that Dorothy needed to be more observant of things around her. So, in an absolutely cruel and vicious act of revenge, her mum confiscated her iPhone.
Dorothy did what any other desperate addict would do. Go to absolutely any lengths to get their fix. After her phone was confiscated, she began desperately searching for other ways to tweet. She worried that if she stayed off the platform for even minutes, she’d lose her mutuals — internet shorthand for users who follow each other.
We now have a crisis of catastrophic proportions. Forget Russia and North Korea, this is serious. In her desperate and frantic search for other posting methods, Dorothy came up with increasingly elaborate ways to daisy-chain systems not designed for tweeting. In her first post, she managed to send a tweet from her Nintendo 3DS, a video-game console with a rudimentary camera and web browser.
But she was found out, and the mother from hell confiscated her 3DS. She was mad that Dorothy went behind her back after she took her phone. She then threatened to delete Dorothy’s twitter account but she didn’t know how. Dorothy next turned to her other video-game console, the Wii U. Unlike the 3DS, the Wii U and most modern consoles have functionality for sharing clips and screenshots directly to social media. The only problem is that users can send messages up to only 80 characters. The Wii U does, however, have Minecraft. So Dorothy wrote a longer note in Minecraft, took a screenshot, and sent it to her followers. She thanked them for their support during this extremely trying time.
The next day, Dorothy gave her followers another update from her Wii U, posting a screenshot she’d designed to look like Ariana Grande. She said the look was “inspired from her new music video (‘Boyfriend’) hairstyle.” The accompanying text let fans know that her mom was at work and that she was desperately trying to find her confiscated phone. However, this teenage genius was caught again and her mom had now taken away her iPhone, her Nintendo Wii U, and her Nintendo 3DS. To Dorothy, this was a cruel and unusual punishment worthy of an appeal to the Supreme Court.
Having exhausted Plans A, B, and C for tweeting, an absolutely desperate Dorothy arrived at Plan D, an absolute masterpiece: the house’s LG smart refrigerator. Her mother uses it to google recipes for baking so she just googled Twitter. She got off one last tweet.
“I do not know if this is going to tweet I am talking to my fridge what the heck my Mom confiscated all of my electronics”, Dorothy tweeted via the refrigerator. The August 8 tweet sent from her LG smart refrigerator went viral, and the hashtag #FreeDorothy began circulating widely. As this took place, Dorothy’s follower count grew as fans supported her. At one point, even Twitter and LG weighed in.
It is not clear whether Dorothy has her electronics back or whether it is just a clever stunt. It does show though that fridges are no longer just a receptacle for keeping food and beverages cold.
I’m opening a museum where all the work in the museum will be done by children. All the paintings will be stuck on refrigerators